The last few days have been ok, but mostly filled with a mixture of anger, anxiety, and intermittent bouts of crying. I feel like I should back up a little and explain why I need surgery and why it relates to my rape and sexual abuse. Because the sexual abuse was particularly violent during the second period of victimization, I developed cervical dysplasia and an immense amount of scar tissue. As I got older the scar tissue started to add to the buildup of the lining of my
Well, my pre-op testing is done and at least my blood work looks normal. I hate that even though this is a surgery that will take away my biological ability to have children, they still ask the dreaded "any chance of pregnancy?" Of course say "no" politely and smile because my mother raised me to be polite even in the face of something uncomfortable, but I normally get the urge to want to cave in the nurse's face every time I'm asked that question. Sounds violent, I know.